You know the saying "deer in the headlights," well I got to experience this in its literal context a few weekends ago. After a night of fellowship with some friends at their lake house, we were on our way home and I was getting tired sitting in the passenger seat. Out of no where a deer ran out into the street and stopped right in front of our small car. My dad slammed on the breaks and I crouched into the fetal position in the front seat and we hit the deer. I didn't see the deer roll on top of the car because my eyes were shut and my head was in my arms. I waited though for a second for an air bag but it never exploded, but if it would have a neck injury could have landed me in the hospital. A few days before all of this two of my friends saw me explode about things that truly have no importance after hitting the deer. I spent all Friday being upset, but later that night for the first time I was truly able to give it to God and let go. Saturday morning I mulched for someone at our church with one the sister of one of the girls I exploded at. I can't lie I was still a bit bitter and it would have been much easier to start venting to her sister but I found that her and I clicked in other ways other than ragging on her older sister. I found a sister that adores her older sister and made tings much easier for me. I spent most of the evening with a bunch of kid 8+ years younger than me. They made laugh, smile and even question my sanity a bit, but for the first time in a long time I felt like a kid again. So from the moment i saw the whites of the eyes of the deer to the time we hit it with my eyes closed, I was praying harder than ever. Praying for God to step into the situation of the accident and my life and to help us all be safe. Many people might not be able to find glory or a blessing in any of this but somehow I did. With my sister crying in the back seat out of fear to my own fear as I opened my eyes to what had happened, no one was hurt (not even the deer). That is a blessing in itself.
Not only was it a blessing that none of us got hurt it was a blessing that I was able to find glory in it, when for a week or two before I could find glory in nothing around me. I laid awake in my room reviewing everything that had happened recently and the glory and I was astonished at everything I had missed. God was stepping into my life I just couldn't particularly see it. So with summer here now and late nights I think much more than normal (lord knows that's not good), and I have been making lists of Gods glory and blessings in my life.
- An amazing best friend: She has always been here for me especially this year, when one was weak we were strong for the other until we were okay again. Our late night conversations while star gazing was something I wouldn't trade for anything.
- My gift: In a few weeks my church leaves for our first mission trip. I agreed to lead worship through song during the week. I have been practicing as much as I can and just recently I have finally been able to feel what I was singing about. So i'm not focusing on being perfect but focusing bringing glory to God and serving others by showing them the love of Christ.
- "Remade": I can not say much but I can say I am moving forward in life. I am finished being at a stand still, and am praying about all that could happen. All I can say is that through what ever happens in the near future I am letting it be Gods' show... not mine.
- Radio/ Pandora: God has been speaking to me through the music I have surrounded myself by. I sat at church one day and every song that came on touched something in my heart that made me aware of the presence of my Savior!
- My sister: We have not always had a good relationship but I am doing so much to change that. I want to be her support system, so I make time for her individually in my schedule. In a short time I would say we have gotten closer system.
- Communication: I am not the best when it comes to this but I am working on it. A friend that has helped me a lot this year has truly pushed me honest in all that I do. So as I become honest with my self I am slowly able to become honest with the people around me.
These are just a few but have all made a huge impact in my life. In the presence of Gods' glory I feel like a deer in the headlights. All I want to do is stand here and admire it forever, I want to love the light for ever and nothing is every going to stop me from singing every praise of Lord deserves!
Be blessed!!!!
Love, McKayla Audrey
