"Through Him Who Gives Me Strength...": August 2012

The last day of summer is always quite bittersweet and I find it this year a bit harder to let go of. Although I am excited to go back and see friends and routine it is hard to let such an amazing summer fade to the memories of all the others summers past. This summer has brought a lot of change and I am happy to say it has been mostly for the better! In summer 2011 I had told myself I was going to go out and find myself and become who I was always supposed to and that absolutely did not happen. As I entered into sophomore year I found myself more confused than anything which defiantly threw me off quite a bit. All through the year I had many amazing support systems as I started to work through the rough patches, pain and confusion. So before I say anything else I want to thank everyone who has been a supports system in the past year because its because all of you that I was able to have such a terrific summer.
Finishing up the last school year I let my mind become consumed with the idea of loosing weight, and well I defiantly lost more than I was planning on in one summer. I'm not complaining but I will admit there was a time when it literally would consume everything I did. So for about the first 3 or 4 weeks of my summer the name of the game was see how much weight I could loose. People around started to worry about how quickly I was losing the weight, so overtime the weight loss has become much healthier. It was not always easy, but knowing I dropped 4 pant sizes in one summer is a pretty fantastic feeling. Along with the weight I also chopped off 6 or 7 inches off my hair. I have no clue why I did it but I could not be more pleased with the way it turned out! It is defiantly me and I have been told that since I first got it. It was different to hear people say "that haircut is totally you," because it seemed like that was the underlying theme of this summer without even trying.
I have been in need of an attitude adjustment for a very very very long time is any of you don't know. I wouldn't call myself totally self centered but I have defiantly struggled with pride and jealousy in the past. As I came home from alive, the mission trip and camp this summer I really started to notice the areas in which I needed and adjustment. I have spent both of my high school years concerned about how good I was in the eyes of my choir directors or choir members. Any of my close friends can attest to the fact that when it came time for auditions I became a totally different person, a very scary person if I do say so myself. I don't want to become that person anymore, I still want to have some drive but I want to stop comparing myself to others because in all honesty I am no better or worse then any of them in the big picture. For my last two years I want to be able to make amazing relationship and just have a great time with everyone in the music program. I just want to have fun because I have been stuck up for to long and some fun is long overdo.
Another change this year is my love and compassion for everyone around me! In the past month and a half I have found myself loving people for who they are rather than what they have done or said wrong and it is not easy people. Think about how much time you spend judging the person across from you in class or at work because they might be a little different. I am just as guilty as the next person but just because it is the easy thing to do does not by any circumstances make it the right thing to do. Think of it this way what if you were the one being judged... Now I know no one likes to feel judged so what makes it any different when we do it to others? Unless we have talked to the person and placed a genuine interest in their lives and their story how do we know what their going through? What if instead of spending the time we do judging we go over to someone and say hi? Just love them, because we all want to feel loved. This year I have challenged myself to go out in my school, and community and show people the love I have experienced this summer. Not by shoving religion down their throats but by simply being there and present for someone else. Instead of talking truly listen to what others are saying and find a way I can encourage them and pray for them on my own time. I just want to love others with no strings attached and I'm going to have to start small because change doesn't happen overnight but I hope over the course of the next year I can show everyone around me the love inside me.
As I have slowly been able to start to find myself I find myself on my knees praising an awesome and faithful Savior. I have let a lot of what has happened this summer get between me and my relationship with Christ. So last night as I laid in bed thinking about how the last two years of my high school career start in less than 48 hours I asked that His will would be done in everything I do these next two years. God never changes and that is something you can guarantee. Through the death of his son we are forgiven from the sin of this world. What ever holds you captive from enjoying the freedom of Jesus Christ is nothing when we truly think of how much we are loved and adored by this man. So as things around me change I cling to Christ as my rock and my salvation because I know nothing we can do can change His love for us. He is always faithful and that is something so amazing to me.
So as I head back to school I really think that I am truly in the process of letting my old self die and finding my true identity in Jesus Christ and his amazing plan for my life. I can not express how excited I am to continue on this amazing walk with Christ!!! "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."- 2 Cor 10:5
Much love!
McKayla Audrey

As summer 2012 is coming to a close I thought i'd post some photos to sum up what I've been up to! It has been a pretty amazing summer full of surprises and amazing moments! Enjoy! Thanks to Lindsey Rapp for a lot of the pictures! Documenting every move of our lives is a great idea!

Love,
McKayla :)