"The Truth About Me" Part Two

Normally I would come up with a more creative idea for a name but once again this song has been on my heart and on my mind as a lot of things have been in the past weeks since my last post.

Tonight is a little different because I don't exactly know where I want this post to go. So I'm going to start with some lyrics of the song to base the rest of this off of. "You say lovely, I say broken. I say guilty, You say forgiven. I feel lonely, You say You're with me. We both know it would change everything. If only I believed the truth about me..."

Since I last posted I have written four new songs and posted three of them on my YouTube channel and they are Christian songs. Recently I have found myself praying about possibly becoming a Christian singer and being able to share my story through music to help others who are just like me. I am giving my gifts to God and asking him to use them as he intends and let his will be done with my life but it is much easier said than done.

So recently I have found myself doubting myself and things around me which is why I am using this song once again. The part of the song I posted above is the part that has been on my mind so here it all goes. I sometimes find myself in difficult situations where I struggle to remember that there is someone who will always love me. It isn't even all recent but from along time ago, but I feel so held back by my brokenness sometimes. Laying in my bed thinking back of events and thinking I must be crazy no one could understand or forgive me, but it's nights like these that I find myself crying out to God with everything I have. I have never had this happen until this year, where I close my eyes and talk to God and can't find the words to say but I'm crying begging him to step into my life and give me strength to be a worthy servant of the Lord for others around me. I pray he will give me strength to get through the week and not loose faith, as I have done in the past. But me crying out to him does not mean I don't believe in him but means I don't have the strength to do it on my own.

Believing the lies is so much easier to do though right? The lies that tell you nothing you can do will be good enough, the lies that remind you how many people you feel like you're pushing away? See God sees beauty in our brokenness and can pick up the pieces and make something beautiful out of it. He sees us so much different than anyone else on earth and sometimes the lies seem to snuff that out. I often find myself believing the lies I am told by other people about many things, but mostly myself. I mean it isn't always easy to keep your head up and ignore things because it builds up on you, and eventually you blow up on someone or something.

So recently I have been wondering what it would be like if I didn't believe the lies that pop up here and there, how would my life be different? " You tell me things this world never will" This world can knock you down with one strong wave but God loves us more that all of the lies and mistakes combined. Something so amazing that it gives me chills just thinking about. Would you give up your life for people you didn't know? So I guess why wonder what life would be like when you can't change what has been done but be forgiven by a Savior?